Tuesday, February 25, 2014

"Well, I guess this has been the worst morning of my life"

It's a hard job being seven, but someone's got to do it! This quote is what Jacob told his RoRo the other morning when she came by to take him to school. You can imagine her shock, when she innocently asked, "How are you? How's your morning going?" Little did she know that major surgery had occurred just minutes before she arrived at our house. And, by "major surgery," I removed a splinter out of the bottom of Jacob's foot. He had gotten a bath before school and when he was getting dressed, he said, "Momma, I think I'm going to be walking funny today because my foot hurts, or I've got a splinter...wait, let me check. Yep, I've got a splinter." I examined the bottom of his foot and sure enough, he did have a splinter. It was red around it and had to come out. Here's where the blood curdling screams came in. I'm surprised our neighbors didn't alert the authorities to the abuse/murder that was taking place. Poor Ryan was trying his best to be helpful and even let Jacob hold his, "Frosty of the Reindeer" (you're confused, I know...is it a snowman or a reindeer? Rest at ease, my friend, it's a reindeer) until the screaming got too bad and then he waved his hands in a "come here" motion and announced, "OK, give it back, give it back." He was my little helper and held the flashlight so I could see better...until he started moving it around and shaking it back and forth. When I asked him to please hold it still, he said, "but, Mom, my hand's shaking." Bless it! After about 15 minutes and countless screams and tears, the splinter was extracted. Jacob limped around the rest of the time he was getting dressed - until he forgot that his foot was supposed to be "hurt" and I caught him walking normal. Don't think I didn't point out that he was just fine.

Jacob slipped out the door while Ryan was going potty. We continued to get ready and Ryan didn't notice his brother's absence until we were in the garage to leave. "Where's Jacob?" Uh oh...busted! I did what any parent would do to avoid a complete meltdown...avoid answering the question! "Um, I guess we lost him?" Clever, right? Good thing Ryan's only three and doesn't see through my poorly thought of farce. "Oh, ok." Whew!!! Close one!

I take Ryan to school, all the way rocking out to some Veggie Tales. I get to work and my Mom calls me. I ask, "How'd it go?" (this is the first time we've attempted this school drop off). She replies, "Oh, good, he was very talkative, wanted me to come in to see his classroom." Blah, blah, blah...then she tells me he told her in the car, "Well, I guess this has been the worst morning of my life!" "Why?" she asks? "Because of the splinter, Ro!"

I laughed so hard that I literally could not breathe! My little drama king!

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